Crimson Halo

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Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:32 pm

UNSC Carrier Fire of Orion


0647 hours,August 30, 2552(Military Calendar)\
UNSC Carrier Fire of Orion
En route to Epsilon Eridani Star System Edge

"I dont have time for this!" Pheonix yelled

"But, sir! We cannont safely transition into Shaw-Fujikawa space with the
capacitors at 87%," The ships AI, Liam replied

"If we attempt to transition now, we WILL die, sir"

"And if we do not jump, we will die, If we die our mission will fail,"

"...I," The AI paused

"Yes,sir. Extrapolating course and destination..." A difficult task, considering how
escape vectors were randomized. The Carrier flew through space, before it,
the characteristic visualization of multiple slipspace transitions.

"Sir!"

"Report!"

"CSS battlegroup sir. 3 capital ships 4 destroyers, Firing solutions calculated,"

"ETA to jump?"

The A.Is normally cool blue cloaked avatar flashed a violent shade of purple
"2 minutes,sir" Captain Pheonix, exhaled, loudly, and made a subtle nod towards the avatar
"All fighters secured and aboard. Firing forward archer missile pods," Pheonix similed,
the AI knew exactly what would happen. The combinded exhaust trails of the archer missiles
would give visual cover and a brief sensor ghost to the Covenant, giving the {carrier name}
the ability to perform its mission unhindered - the Rear Gaurd of the Pillar of Autumn




--------------------------
part2





0547 hours, September 9, 2552(Military calendar)\
UNSC Carrier Fire of Orion
In slipspace, persuing the UNSC Pillar of Autumn

"Captain? Please wake up sir," The words echoed through Pheonix' mind, he was in the
never-never-land of consciousness and cryo-sleep.

Captain Pheonix gagged on the substance in his throat. He stumbled out of
the cryotube, coughing and was about to spit the mucus out "Sir, the inhalent surfactant is
highly nutritious. Please swallow," He glared at the AI, and spat on the deck

"Report, are we nearing the Autumn?"

"No,sir. I. Lost her,sir. 4 hours ago," the AI answered

"And you only wake me up now?!" He shot

"Sir, reviving you any faster would have risked hypothemic shock. She suddenly disappeared from sensors,
so I immediately calculated an escape vector, and began the revival of the crew,"

"Understood, I'll be on the bridge shortly."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part 2 (b)



0600 hours, September 9, 2552(Military calendar)\
UNSC Carrier Sovereign
Uncharted Star System

The {carrier name} transitioned out of the realm of slipspace, and into normal space.
"Where are we?" the Weapons Officer [Lieutenant (name)] asked, and all eyes on the bridge turned to Liam.

"Approximately, 23.1 lightyears away from Reach. Main sequence class-G star 1.69 by 10 to the fourthteenth, with 15 planets,
I also detect an anomaly in orbit over the seventh planet, however, due to intense solar interference, I am unable to determine
what precisely it is,"

"WHAT do you know?"

Liam frowned, as the sensor data confirmed his oustanding hypothesis, "Captain, its a Covenant ship,"




-----------------
part 3


0715 hours, September 9,2552(Military Calendar)\
UNSC Carrier Fire of Orion
Uncharted Star System


The Carrier crept towards the wounded Covenant ship, unknowing of what dangers were in store "Sir,
the ships' BattleNet is still intact, infiltrating now." After several minutes, Liam announced his findings
"You should listen to this,"
An Firm voice thundered over the bridge, filled with happiness and jubiliation.
Rejoice my Brothers! For we have found what was long lost, discovered what is rightfully ours. The
First Sacred Ring of our Lords. The Glory of our Forefathers. Joyus, is this day. For soon...the Great Journey
...Shall...Begin!
The {carrier name} rumbled and shook violently. "Plasma hit! Deck D Starboard Aft breached! Sealing,"

"What the hell? Whats going on? LIAM! SIT-REP! NOW!"

"Apologies, sir. Most likely, Covenant ships responding to the 'distress call', the ship is broadcasting on all channels,
the responding ships must fired a torpedo,"

"Where are they, I can't fight what I cant see!" Pheonix snarled

"Extrapolating course and position from impact.....behind the moon sir. Longswords deployed. Hang on!" The Carrier tilted and turned
towards the icy moon of the seventh planet "MAC system online and ready, Longsword Squadron Alpha reports its a Carrier Battlegroup, engag-"

The Covenant ships warmed with plasma, preparing to unleash the hellfire within "No, call of the attack," Captain Pheonix ordered

"Sir?" Liam was genuinely confused

"We need those Longswords, especially those pilots. Recall the defensive squadrons too, we're jumping. I trust, you have the coordinates of
this First Sacred Ring of our Lords?"

"Yes, captain,"

"Good, to comply with that order, would be a dereliction of duty. You would be court-martialed,"

"The discovery of this new information superceeds that. MY orders come DIRECTLY from the UNSC
Security Committee - We are to abandon the Autumn, if we find any information on Covenant troop
Concentrations and Installations and are authorized to destroy such installations,"

"Understood Captain, initializing Shaw-Fujikawa FTL drive,"



-----------------------
part 4

0115 hours, September 19,2552(Military Calendar)\
UNSC Carrier Fire of Orion
In Slipspace

"Approaching coordinates, disengaging FTL drive" The Fire of Orion ripped a hole back into normal 3-4 dimensional space, appearing within a massive Oort Cloud.

"Where are we?" The Navigation Officer wondered aloud

"We are at the systems edge of coordinates," The cloaked avatar of the powerful ship-AI materialized on the holotank
Apparently, this system's gas giant has been surveyed before. Survey Catalog number B1008-AG."

The Carrier gracefully sailed through the purple haze of the Oort Cloud, with her engines flaring at 100%.

"Alert: detecting signatures from multiple CCS-class battlegroups making that 3 captial ships per group,"
Liam announced

"Get us to those coordinates, Liam." The CO ordered

"Aye,captain. ETA 30 minutes,"

"Get us there faster,"

"Impossible,sir. Even if I slagged the engines, we would not arrive in time," the A.I admitted

"Jump." The Captain ordered

"Sir?"

"JUMP! Get us between that planet and its moon."

"With all due respect,sir, the chances of us transitioning, either, into the moon, the gas giant or the systems star are astronomical.
It is imperative that we succeed in our mission."

"The UNSC needs us, and the crew fully understands the risks of this mission. DO IT,"

"Aye, Captain Pheonix," the Orion transitioned out of the cloud, and a split-second later reappeared. But not in space.


Last edited by Lord Pheonix on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:18 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by capn qwerty on Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:44 pm

*whistles* Wow. I can not wait for the next part Very Happy
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Onyxknight on Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:45 pm

*twilddels thumbs* this is some peice of work here pheonix
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Kasrkin Seath on Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:51 pm

'Tis good.
I noticed some speeling errors and some minor problems with seperation of dialogue to keep from forming text blocks.
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Don Corleone on Fri Nov 28, 2008 7:55 pm

not bad in the least
good job

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:18 pm

Actually thats just a basic story UNSC wrote for me after giving him the story of what I want for comic, so its not really written for people.


He would make a ff out of my story board as to help me make a good comic.

If he wrote these things that descriptive I can make really detailed comic.






And we stopped making that story, so there is no more. You can ask UNSC to make more if you really want more.

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by BBJynne on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:36 pm

God damn I could really use a cock right now.





..........................So thirsty

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by capn qwerty on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:37 pm

BB, did you catch whatever bilco had?
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by rzgrz on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:45 pm

nice.... it could do good to see more.. and a better way to write a comic.....
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by PiEdude on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:48 pm

Lord Pheonix wrote:
Captain Pheonix gagged on the substance in his throat.
Bow,
Lord Pheonix wrote:
He stumbled out of the cryotube, coughing and was about to spit the mucus out
Chicka,
Lord Pheonix wrote:"Sir, the inhalent surfactant is
highly nutritious. Please swallow,"
Wow,
Lord Pheonix wrote:He glared at the AI, and spat on the deck.

WOW!
lol!

Anyway, it's coming along fine, keep up the good work (that's what she said) Very Happy
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Fri Nov 28, 2008 8:56 pm

Again, not a REAL FF, just a really detailed story board





and nice one Piedude

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by CivBase on Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:12 pm

It's good... but far too fast, not enough background info. The writing style is very good, but it doesn't allow you to know the characters.

If it is what you say, just a storyboard, it's a rather... interesting one. Is it just supposed to give some background info to the comic, or just kinda set the stage for it?

Hopefuly things will be sorted out in the comic and it will make much more sence.

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Fri Nov 28, 2008 9:17 pm

I give UNSC a plot, he makes a FF about it that is desciptive



Then seeing all the descriptions in that FF I can write comics with it.

That was not even final, that was a quick thing he did for me.





And im not making that comic, hence why I showed it to you all.

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by BBJynne on Fri Nov 28, 2008 11:04 pm

Evil Jasha wrote:God damn I could really use a cock right now.





..........................So thirsty


hmm... i don't recall saying this pheonix.

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:33 am

hmmmm



Well then I guess its just a mystery for the ages huh?

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by CivBase on Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:42 am

*wonders why LP stickied this*

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:43 am

Don did, not me

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by PiEdude on Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:52 am

Evil Jasha wrote:
Evil Jasha wrote:God damn I could really use a cock right now.





..........................So thirsty


hmm... i don't recall saying this pheonix.

Probably because you couldn't say it because of the cock in your mouth! Razz
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:56 am

lol

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by BBJynne on Sat Nov 29, 2008 1:26 pm

*thinks that admin and mods shouldn't abuse their powers*

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:32 pm

*Thinks only the mods shouldn't abuse their powers

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by T-Bone on Sat Nov 29, 2008 2:45 pm

thinks BB shouldnt type such perverted things.
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Vtrooper on Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:49 pm

*in HK-47 voice*

Qestion: why are there only 1 named meatbag and 1 named artifical intellegence
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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by Lord Pheonix on Sat Nov 29, 2008 3:53 pm

as the story was going to evolve the subplots later.



For now it was the very basic

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Re: Crimson Halo

Post by BBJynne on Sun Nov 30, 2008 1:24 am

T-Bone wrote:thinks BB shouldnt type such perverted things.


FYI I didn't type it


*finger of blame points at pheonix*

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Re: Crimson Halo

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